August 9th, for my town, Nagasaki

August 9th

I am recalling my past blog about the same topic.

I thought,

"How do the world think of August 9th."

I googled it.

Surprisingly, I did not find the information that I was looking for.

Every year, August 9th, 11:02am, entire town of Nagasaki stand in silence.  

Not only the radio, but every fire places turn the siren on, VERY LOUD SIREN that every people can hear inside and outside of the building.

Why 11:02am?   

It is the time when the atomic bomb hit the city of Nagasaki.

One of the display in the Peace Park Museum that stays in my memory is that every clock in the display are stopped at the 11:02.

By the time I was born, 1971, Nagasaki had already recovered. Japan actually became one of the fastest growing country.

I only heard about how awful it was during the war from grand parents.  

For me, its in a past.  But for people who went through the awful time, they still remember clearly. 

But I remember in my childhood, maybe around 1981, we were playing hide-and -seek.  We were actually using "bokugo", the hiding cave as a hiding spot. 

When American fighter airplane flew over the town,

people ran into these kind of cave.

I also remember when I had a check up with Homeopath doctor, and she said

" You have awfully large amount of radiation in your body. Just the X-Rays here and there from hospital or dentist check ups would not create this amount of radiation. What happened?"

I said,

"I have not done so much X-rays. SO I don't know why."

She checked up all my medical history and said'

"Oh, you are from Nagasaki, that makes sense, because of the atomic bomb."

I said,

"It can not be.  My family moved to Nagasaki in 1976 and the war had been over 30years before. It is now 2004, so it has been over 60 years."

But I researched about it.

Amazingly, what I found out was that unlikely Hiroshima, the radiation from the atomic bomb could not evaporate from the land because of the shape of Nagasaki city being surrounded by mountains.  People live on the land can absorb the radiation from the land.

Even 60 years later!!!

Please do not feel offensive about I am bringing up this subject.

But what I wanted to tell to the world is that,

The scars from the history can pass down emotionally 

and also physically to generation after generation.

If we can stop hurting each other right now, 

stop the small fights between friends, 

stop the big wars between countries, 

and be kind to each other,

we can create more peaceful world in 30years.

I teach Jikiden Reiki.

The most important teaching in Reiki is

to live in Gokai, the five principle.

Kyo dake wa

Ikaruna

shin pie suna

kansha shite

gyo o hageme

hitoni shinsetsu ni

Just for today,

do not be angry,

do not worry,

be grateful,

do your duties fully,

be kind to others.

 I really think the world peace is THAT simple.


Praying for Nagasaki.

Back to Japan, many synchronism

Take a break from the Hospice series for a while and I will be writing 

stories from the trip back to Japan, my home country.

I have been back to Japan every two years, but this time was the best trip!

In 2008, I took all my three children (2yrs, 4yrs and 6yrs) by myself and I was

exhausted at the end.

- - - I promised to myself that I would never to that again.

Then, in 2010, I took all my three children (4yrs, 6yrs and 8yrs) by myself again, and

I was VERY exhausted at the end.

- - - "Didn't I promise to myself that I wouldn't do this again ~~~ ?"

As if women forget the pain of the baby birth, I forget the pain of the trip with

3 kids by myself.  So I asked people around me,

"PLEASE stop me next time if I plan a trip to Japan with 3 kids, 

and remind me the pain ~ ! "

This time, 2013. My children are 7years, 9years and 11years old. I was pretty sure

they will be OK, they are pretty much independent, so I took them to Japan,

again by myself.

It was AWSOME !  It was FUN ! 

Well, I will write the story of the trip next time, but I really would like to 

share the story of the many synchronism that happened while I was taking
a further training of Jikiden Reiki in Kyoto.

Kyoto is the birth place of Reiki. Jikiden Reiki main office is located in Kyoto

as well, and I was there to review the entire seminars (Shoden, Okuden, Shihankaku

and Shihan course) in Japanese with Yamaguchi-sensei.

First Synchronism

I heard an older man speaking at the reception area and I thought,

   " Hummm, his dialect sounds familiar to me... He must be from 
    Kyushu Island, or maybe from Nagasaki?(my home town)" 

Before I introduced myself to him, I asked him a direct question,

 "Good morning! How do you do? Are you from Kyushu Island? 

Your dialect sounds familier to me!" 

He said,

  "Yah, I am from Omura-city, Nagasaki. I do my best to speak without my dialect, 

   but it is impossible to speak without it. " (As he is trying to speak without the dialect,
   the strong dialect was already seeping out from his mouth.) 

I said,

  "Oh wow, I am from Nagasaki, too! I live in different place now, 
   but how rare to  meet a person from Nagasaki!"

I thought,

  This is a good sign! 

The Universe is giving me a confirmation that

    "I am in a right path."

The next day、the second synchronism.

There was a lady from Kunitachi, Tokyo in this class. I really wanted to talk

to her when there is a chance.

Accidentally, I sat beside her at the lunch time, so I started a conversation. 

"I remember you are from Kunitachi, Tokyo !  I used to live around the Kunitachi area when I was in a college, and I walked around the town in a training suit. " 

Then conversation continued,

She: " Oh! You were in a training suit?"

Me: "Yes, I was in a Physical Education College."

She: "What ! You mean, Tokyo Women's College of Physical Education?" 

Me: "Yes, that's it. Do you know the college?"

She: "Yes, of course! My daughter goes to the high school that is connected to

        your college!"

Me : "Oh wow, what a surprise! It is rare to meet a person who is connected

        to this college! Your daughter and I could be a senior and junior relationship!" 

She : "My daughter was training so hard in competitive gymnastics there." 

Me : " What? Gymnastics, the one with balance beam and floor etc? I used to train

         gymnastics as well!" 

She : "No kidding!"  

Me : "You daughter must be about 20 years younger than me, but it is really officially

        we are the graduate from the same school, wouldn't we?  What a rare thing! " 

In my heart,

(This is gooooooood !  Again, this is the sign from the Universe! I am so glad I came

  to Kyoto! ) 

The third day、The third synchronism.

I went to the class a bit early and stand around the reception area, and I heard 

a conversation said,

"Excuse me, Is a lady name 'Ms.Mari Okazaki' here today?" 

（Humm, that's my name. Who is this person, and why this person is looking for me? ）

The thought went by in a second. 

I turn around and said, 

"Well, that's me." 

There was a gentleman with smile, and he said,

"Hi! We know each other through a Facebook! My name is Ichie." 

（Ahhhh!、Ichie-san, the medical doctor who practice Reiki ! 
   I know him, I know him ! ）

"I had no idea you would be here today! We met in a Facebook, but I am glad

to meet you in person! " 

There it is, there it is again ! Synchronisity! Another sign from the Universe! It keeps

telling me "Welcome to Kyoto, you are in a right path! " 

I am an optimistic person, am I.

The 4th day、The 4th synchronism.

When we were doing group practice at the end, I noticed that there was a different person who is speaking with a Nagasaki dialect again..

I thought,
 "Hummmm, she said she was from Nagoya. Would Nagoya dialect and Nagasaki dialect
be similar each other? No. Those are completely different... But she sure is speaking
with Nagasaki dialect..."

We continued a conversation and finally she said,
"Oh, I AM from Nagoya, but I was born and raised in Nagasaki ~ ! " 

There it is again ! The Nagasaki connection! 

Another sign from the Universe! 

Then after the class, I was speaking with a lady who has an ability to see
aura and energy field. 

She told me,
"I was watching how you give reiki. Your aura was so beautiful when you are doing reiki, and I could really see you truly love doing reiki! " 

It is a rare opportunity to receive this kind of unique compliment as most of the people can not see energy field with physical eyes, but she can.

I took it as a message from the Universe, again.  :) 

The 5th day、Another synchronism !

I am already expecting something good will happen from the morning.

At a lunch time, I wanted to talk to a younger lady who is from Yokohama-city.
This is the same city where my sister lives, so I thought she might be 
the "connection of the day" .

I did my best to sit beside her, but somewhat, it didn't work. 

She sat far far away, and in a different room ! So, I wasn't able to talk 
to her a bit :(  But that is OK.  Things happen for reasons. 

But the seat I picked was the one in front of the older lady from Nagasaki and an interesting man who works for a weather forecast company. Also beside a young
lady who has a severe buckwheat allergy. 

She said, she ate a chocolate that contains grains of buckwheat by accident. As the
allergy reaction started to happen, a person did reiki treatment right away, and 
the reaction calmed right down.

That is the reason this young lady wants to learn Reiki. 

Anyways, I was starting to talk with a lady who was sitting beside me, on the other side of the buckwheat lady, and she started to ask me some questions.

She : "What made you decide to go to Canada?"
Me : "I was teaching gymnastics for the 1st year in Canada." 

She : "Gymnastics? I used to compete Rhythmic Gymnastics !" 
Me : "Oh!  If you used to compete Rhythmic Gymnastics, you must know my college!"

     By the way, my college is very famous of Rhythmic Gymnastics. Many Olympic
     Rhythmic Gymnasts are graduating from this college.
She : "Which college is it?" 
Me : "I graduated from Tokyo Women's College of Physical Education." 
She : "wwwwwWhat?"
Me : "What about, 'wwwwWhat?' " 
She : "Me too." 

Together："Noooo Waaaay ?!?!"

We were so surprised !

This college is a smaller college, and specialized in Health and Physical Education. Many high performance athletes, P.E. teachers, personal trainers etc will graduate from
this college, and VERY rare to meet a graduate.

We found out that she is only two years younger than me. The training centre for
gymnastics and rhythmic gymnastics are in a same building, so we were sure that
we must have passed by each other over 20 years ago, without knowing we would
have a lunch beside each other in 2013 !

I live in Chilliwack, BC, Canada and I visited Kyoto for only 5 days from May 15 ~ 19, 2013.


Those people who came to Kyoto were also from far away within Japan.


It is a miracle that we were at the same place at the same time and have things
in common!  



And, people who I meet through Jikiden Reiki are all so genuine, truly kind, amazingly positive and optimistic people!

The doctor who I met through Facebook. He waited for 1 hour to my children to
arrive in Kyoto, and kindly checked the fresh scar on my son's cheek after a dog bite.
I rarely see a kind doctor like him nowadays,,,,. They are all business like, and
seem to me, they really don't care about people's health, but money.

I really wish there will be more doctors like him, who put their heart for the patients, and really cares about people's health...

So,  my 5 days in Kyoto was filled with miracle, to me, and it was such a joy
to treasure hunt the miracle !




The end.

Hospice series 7 ~ Tight buds to the flower opening

This story is continued from Hospice series 6. 



Finally the bereavement group has started in mid November, 2012. 


I was very surprised of the size of the group, there were more than 
18 people in the group. 


People were very quiet. 



We were sitting so close each other and made a big circle, 
but it seemed like we didn't know how to speak, we weren't sure if we 
were allowed to speak at this point.


We were completely closed, mouth shut, 
just like a tight buds that doesn't even trust the sun.



Lucy was the main facilitator. (if you haven't read the past post, please click here) 
I was there to help to get the chairs out, get people in, while Joan was getting ready for the coffee and the snack, and Lucy was busy organizing the handouts.


I have never experienced the awkward circle in a silence. 



We didn't even know if we could smile each other. 



It felt like "smile" would be a rude thing to do here.



We all knew the main topic of this group, "suicide", and we knew everyone in the room had experienced the loss, but we couldn't speak about it until Lucy started the group.



Finally Lucy sat in the circle,
"Welcome everyone."



I felt such a relief as Lucy started to talk.



We started the group by introducing ourselves.


I have never been to any bereavement group like this. 



Perhaps, my bereavement place/opportunity would be at Buddhist Temple while a monk is chanting. Not like in the circle with a group of people who lost a loved ones.


The first person started to introduce her self.

"My name is ****, I'm from Chilliwack, 
I lost one of my my family member by suicide 2 years ago."


Then Lucy said casually,
"Well, everyone knows that everyone in this group lost a loved one 
by suicide, so we will go more specific about it. Who and How and When. "



Hmmmm, Very awkward....



"My name is ****, I'm from Chilliwack, I lost my son by suicide 
2 years ago, by shooting himself."

"My name is ****, I'm from Sardis, I lost my nephew by suicide 
4 years ago by hang himself."

"My name is ****, I'm from Chilliwack, I lost my sister by suicide 
6 month ago by jumping off from a building."



It continued until everyone finished.



Perhaps, if this group was a cancer bereavement group, they would go with the disease's name, like breast cancer, prostate cancer, liver cancer, brain tumor, etc. But this group would go with the method, hanging, shooting, jumping off, running into the car, medication over dose etc. 



It seems very heavy, but actually, I felt it as a sacred circle and and felt honoured. 



The first day went by very fast, as every one had a chance to talk a bit more about themselves.



Second week was the similar, but since we had started to open up a bit in a last session,
we were more relaxed.



Third week, I was starting to notice one thing.

"People want to talk very specific about what had happened. Over and over."

They speak the same thing repeatedly.


That means,

"They never had a safe place to talk about it. " 

One of the rule in the bereavement group is to listen without judgement. Just listen. 
Everyone felt safe in the group. 




Each time when we were given a subject to talk, "Guilt", "What if's", "Self care", "good memories", it always lead to the conversation of  
"What had happened before, during and after." with lots of tears.



It was like getting the heavy sticky phlegm out from the lung, heart, stomach. It feels better each time when the phlegm is out, but the it continues to build up, so people want to get it out repeatedly.




I also noticed more smiles and laughs as the weeks go by.

The buds started to remember to trust the sun, and started to open.

Hospice series 6 ~ Group is starting

This story is continued from Hospice series 5. 


I walked up to Joan and told her that I would like to be a part of the new suicide bereavement group as
a co-facilitator.

Her face lightened up and I could see her eyes started to fill up with tear of gratitude. She didn't think
there would be anyone would want to help for this group.

She told me she has been working on getting this group started for 1.5 years now and finally it seems 
like things are happening.

You can read the local news paper how this group started.

New group offers support for bereaved families By Chilliwack Progress Published: November 13, 2012 11:00 AM

Lucy Fraser (right), program director for Chilliwack Hospice Society, along with (from left) Fraser Health social worker Denise Armstrong, Joan Noel and Mari Okazaki are all part of the new Suicide Bereavement Support Group in Chilliwack. Noel and Okazaki both lost family members to suicide.

A new bereavement support group starting up in Chilliwack this month is specifically to help those touched by suicide of a loved one. One of the group facilitators, Joan Noel, lost her 29-year-old twin son, Dylan, to suicide in 2009. "After my son died I had so many unanswered questions and so much guilt," she told The Progress. "It is the most horrific thing I have ever tried to deal with and I knew I needed to talk to someone." In her grief, she reached out to the Chilliwack Hospice Society at first and attended a support  group for those suffering the loss of a loved one. But still she had a burning need to share with others who had experienced the unique agony of losing someone who took their own life. The grieving mother tried to find one nearby, but the closest group met in Surrey. She attended to a few meetings and was wholly transformed by the experience from the beginning. "Suicide is such a hush-hush subject," she said. "No one wants to talk about it." In fact, it happens more than one would imagine. "I didn't know that it happened so much in our communities, until it happened in my life." No one wants to see their friends and family suffer further, so they tend to keep mum. But it turns out, sharing with others in a similar situation seems to lighten the load. "For me I needed to talk about it, to try to understand why he would do such a thing. I remember for months after my son died, I kept going over the last few days of his life. Trying to figure out what led to his decision. "I felt like a detective, going over ever little bit of information hoping to find a answer. I shared this at the support group in Surrey and another lady said she had done the same thing." Suddenly it clicked. "I could relate to so many of the people's stories. Everyone's story was different, but I found that I connected to everyone there in one way or another," Noel said. "I learned so much from this support group." It was a real education, too in the very basics of mental illness. "I thought if you had mental illness you heard voices in your head and had no control over your actions. I have since learned there are many forms of mental illness, like anxiety and depression." Hospice program director Lucy Fraser noted there is still a societal stigma attached to suicide deaths, that doesn't really exist otherwise, like in the case of a death by cancer or heart disease.It can even impede people from seeking out that much-needed support. "The stigma isn't even the biggest thing. It's the unanswered questions. "When a family member ends their own life, the family is left with so many questions. What did we miss? What could we have done differently? Why didn't we notice?" It's emotional pain heaped on top of pain, in layers, Fraser said. Noel said she went through that exact process. "For the longest time I was looking for a note from my son. But I never got that." He did text a friend to say that he just couldn't live with the pain any longer. "I did not know how much pain he was in, I just thought it was all normal life hurtles." Noel decided to take decisive action to help assuage that pain. She called the Chilliwack Mental Health Centre to see if they could help her get a support group going here. She met social worker Denise Armstrong, who is the Mental Health Liaison to the RCMP, and they got the ball rolling. Now the group is about to get started in Chilliwack. "I think this group will be very important. It helped me tremendously to have that support, although support groups aren't for everyone." Everyone's story is different. But Noel said was pleased to discover that it lessens the pain to share, and benefits her to help other people and hear their stories. "It gets people talking. You can relate and you say, 'Ok, I don't feel so bad now.' "The pain never really goes away. It pops up daily. "But I found the more you share your story, the less it weighs you down." Now the Chilliwack Suicide Bereavement Support Group is set to start shortly, and it will run for eight weeks, every Thursday night from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Hospice headquarters on Hodgins Avenue. For more details call 604-795-4660. Continue to the next story...