40 years old

40years old.

It has been over a month since I turned 40, and it is a big surprise to me that I am 40. 


I don't know which is correct to say "I live that long?" or "I'm only 40." 

For me, turning 40 is a big matter as I grew up listening that my dad passed away 
when he was 39.  I grew up believing 39 years old is "old enough to die".


I did not really understand what was death, but I knew my family structure was 
different than other family. 




Anyways, there is a little story.




I remember when I was young, my mom would tell me she is 35years old whenever
I asked her age.  


One day, I brought back a paper work from school that my mom had to fill up
all the information about her. Full name, address, phone number, medical history, 
date of birth and of course the actual age.


She wrote down "42".


I said to her, "No mom, you said you are 35."


She said to me "Mari-chan, I am actually 42."


I said "But,,, but,,,, you said you were 35, why the age jumped so much?"


She said "Sorry that I confused you, but I am actually 42."

I bursted into crying.

 I said, "Nooooooooo !  You are old!  Are you going to die soon?"

Even though I did not really understand about a death, I knew death is
something like "disappearing" and I was scared that my mom would disappear, too.




When I found out that she was actually 42, I was really shocked that she was older 
than my father's age. I tried to figure out that what if she lives so long and 
what if she ever meets my father again, she would be so old and my father wouldn't recognize her.




My mom was the super optimistic person, and she would joke around with me,
"O,K,,, what should we do then!  Should I disguise to look young?"
and she would joke around with her friends
"When I told Mari my actual age, she bursted into cry~! She thinks I'm really old!"


But in my head,

"But mom, I am serious."

I was quite slow when I was young, and usually my mom did not take my serious
conversation seriously. She would usually say
"Oh, you were dreaming again."
"Oh, you are so creative!"




Once I had a high fever while a visit to my grand father, and resting by myself 
in his living room. I was watching Olympic game, and caught the moment of
Japan gained a gold medal in swimming!!


I got up with my high fever to tell that Japan got a gold medal to the relatives 
who were having a dinner gathering across the street.
My mom said,
"Mari-chan, were you dreaming again?"
That time, I said, "No it wasn't a dream, its real!"
They finally believed me when they saw the TV news later on.  




Anyways, return to the story.




Later in my life, my sister turned 39, and I was worried that she might
not make it through.


Then my brother in law turned 39, and I was worried that he might not
make it through.


Then my husband turned 39, and I was worried that he might not make
it through.


Then my other sister turned 39, and I was really worried that she might not
make it through.


Then I turned 39, then turned 40.

I thought in my head

"Well, that was easy."

People say 39 years old is young, but I really did not understand until
I actually turned 39.




I finally understand with my 'body' that 39 years old is actually "too young to die." 
I also finally understand with my 'soul' that it does not matter how long you live, 
it is about how you live.




I read books about life and death, I read inspirational quotes etc.  I thought I understood
the meaning behind it.  But I realized that if I'm only understanding with my
'mind', I am not understanding completely.




The true understanding is that when I understand with my "soul".






39years is a short life as a father of 3 small daughters. But my father's role has been continuing after 35years as he taught me the important teaching that he might not have been able to teach if he is alive.

It is not about how long you live, 

but how you live.

The longer we live, the more we tend to accumulate ego. We tend to look
down on younger people, because of the ego of being better.


In fact, the teaching of Reiki, we suppose to peel off the negative emotions 
layers after layers. That means, the longer we live, the less ego we should have.

The less ego we have, the better the world would be.

I think, this makes sense.

Distant Reiki during a Yoga class

I love Reiki.  I love teaching Reiki, and I love doing Reiki for others!


It brings me "peace" more than anything. 


One of my favourite technique of the Reiki is "distant reiki", the Reiki treatment
that is offering from home without meeting with the receiver in person.




Few month ago, I had an interesting experience with distant reiki.




I was speaking on the phone with my sister who lives in Japan.  She was just going out
for her weekly Yoga class with her husband.  But her husband did not feel like 
going out for Yoga. Not only for Yoga, but he did not even want to get out from the bed.


His demanding job was giving him major stress, and he just wanted to curl up 
in the bed and not doing anything... yes, a bit of depression.


My sister knew it would be good for him to continue the weekly Yoga for his
stress reduction, but he was not up to it.


I said,
"If you can manage to get him out from the bed and take him to the Yoga class,
I will do distant reiki for him while he is doing Yoga.  So he can receive a good
healing from inside and outside! "


She said,
"OK, I will convince him to go to Yoga with me.  Should I tell him you will be doing
a distant reiki for him?"


I said,
"It is up to you.  You can tell him, or you don't have to tell him.  What time would the
Yoga class start?"


She said,
"12:30pm."


I said,
"OK, then 5:30pm in Vancouver time."








So, off they went for their Yoga class.


I did distant reiki from 5:30pm to 6:00pm, which is 12:30pm to 1:00pm in Japan.




Few hours later, my sister called me and said,


"I did not tell him about you would be doing distant reiki, because I did not want to 
give him any pressure that he needs to stay well. But you know what ?  After the Yoga class, he said, "I feel so good! That was the best Yoga class ever!  I could focus better, and I could stay in the pose longer! I am glad I went! "  "


Then she continued,


"So, I said to him, " Is that right?  Actually, Mari was doing distant reiki for you 
during the time when we were doing Yoga.  I talked to her before the class, 
and told her that you weren't feeling so well, so Mari decided to do 
distant reiki for you. " " 




He said, 
"No wonder! That is quite amazing!"






There is a long distance between Japan and Canada.  I miss living close to my original family and old friends.




But how beautiful that distant reiki can bring the distant closer to my family. 

Garbage for others is treasure for me !!!

I am Japanese. I love Sushi, especially Ikura, the raw salmon roe.

I grow up with raw fish, raw fish eggs, raw egg on a rice bowl, 
I even had eaten shrimps and small fish alive, yes alive in a mouth.
 ... OK, it might be too much information for some of you are reading this story.  






I never knew Canadian fisher man use fish roe as a fishing bait. 

"Nooooooo!"

The worst is as soon as they catch fish, they clean the guts and throw the fish roe away.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Salmon roe is a super delicacy for Japanese people !!!

Save it !  Save it !!!

My husband likes fishing, so does his brother (my brother in law). My husband likes 
lake fishing to catch smaller fish like kokanee or traut while his brother likes
river fishing for bigger fish, Salmon !


Long time ago, I asked my brother in law if he ever catch female fish with eggs still in 
its belly. 


He said "Yeah, sometimes. I usually use the eggs as bait, but people usually clean the guts out right at the river."


I asked to him,
"Is it possible if you can keep the eggs?"


He said
"Sure, but what for?"


I said,
"For eating?"


He said,
"O...K... How do you eat them....?"


I said,
"Raw."


Most of the Canadian, the reaction would be

Yeeeeeeewwww!

But for Japanese, Salmon roe is total delicacy !  It cost $2.50 to order one little sushi
with one teaspoon full of salmon roe (Ikura) on top. It cost $30 to buy one little jar of
Ikura!

Anyway, few days ago, he dropped by at our place with a bag of salmon roe in his hand!!!

Woooo Hooooo !!!!  THANK YOU !!!!

This is how it looks like right after came out from salmon belly.

You can not eat with all the membrane, vein, string, fiber etc.  
You have to clean it gently and entirely.

Tada~! This is how it looks when it is ready to prepare for eating.

Japanese people usually marinate in soy sauce, rice wine and sugar and eat it right away.
But my husband is not comfortable about our children are eating raw. So at least I can do is freeze them once.




After defrost it and marinate into soy sauce, rice wine and sugar for over night,
it is ready to eat !!!

This is Japanese delicacy.

"Ikura"

My children are really looking forward to eating them for a dinner now, right now !




Of course, I saved some of them for my secret stash....  bad mom. 

Not being efficient, yet.

I'm supposed to have extra 6 hours since this September !

But it has been already 2 month since the last post.  Why ???? 

Until then, I had 2hour-my-own-time for three times a week.  I would go to a 

grocery shopping by myself, going to the bank by myself, folding laundries by myself 

and the precious 2 hours had finished in no time.

I love the by-myself-time, and even though it was the time at vegetable store, or at the bank, I was happy.

Since this September, my youngest son has started a kindergarten.  I have 6 hours by myself time, every day.  

6 hours! 

This is such an exciting news for me. This past 9years of intensive parenting time, I am enjoying very much to raise my children, I love them dearly and deeply, but I was missing my free time. 

I was so much looking forward to getting my free time back!

6hours a day!     What do I do?     6 hours x 5 days = 30hours / week.

I can do many many things that I could not do in past 9 years !!!

First of all, I want to move my evening Reiki appointments to day time, so then

I can have a family time after the dinner. 

Then I want to start going Yoga classes.

I also want to volunteer at my children's school as I haven't done volunteer for my two older children.  It time to start help their school.

I want to do volunteer Reiki for people who are sick but who can not afford private treatments.  By having 6 hours extra time, I should be able to do it.

Oh, I want to start writing letters, hand writing letters to my friends and families.

Oh, yeah, I should practice playing piano little more regularly. To say that, I also want to practice the harp which I just started this June.

I remember what I want to start again!  Knitting!  I should pull out all the yarns and knitting needles, so then I will really start!

Ohhh !  I should put some oil on my sawing machine, so then I can finally use the fabric that I bought to make the bedding cover.

・・・。

Just by thinking of all, 6 hours has passed already.

My mind and body are in shock that shifting the life from "no time" to "lots of time",

I don't know what to do, where to start.  I do little bit of this, little bit of that, and realize nothing got done.

"What did I do today? Where is my 6 hours? "

"I am so not efficient."

"OK, Mari, one at a time, one at a time."

My first ONE is Yoga.

I used to be a gymnast, so I am pretty flexible.

I used to be able to grab my ankle beside my ears (arching from behind),

I could split my leg for 180degree, if not 200 degree.

However, going through 3 pregnancies, my body became so rusty.

Now I started Yoga, so I can get my flexibility back.

I can not remember, yet, the name of the each pose, but I'm learning this pose,

I'm learning this pose (I'm pretty serious.)

With my short arms and long torso, this pose does not work well for me.

Even I used the blocks, still doesn't work.  My body has to be off the ground.

But I have fun.

My Yoga teacher gave me a challenge to do this,

and this pose!  It is quite acrobatic, and I love it!

You might think that gymnastics and Yoga are similar, but they are not !!!

In gymnastics training, often you hear

"Point your toes!  Don't make the bad toes, you will lose points!"

In Yoga studio, often you hear

"Flex your toes !"

pointing toes does not work for Yoga.

Gymnasts stretch their arms as long as possible as if the shoulder pop out from the socket, but you have to keep the shoulder build into the back when you to Yoga practice.

Depends on the situation, one could be correct while the other is incorrect.

I realized that it applies to our life, too !!!

Depends of the situation, one could be correct while the other is incorrect.

You have to be adjustable for each situation to make the hard situation easy.

The key of the life is to be adjustable and flexible,,,, isn't it?!  

It feels like Yoga will be another life coach for me ~ ! Bring it on!

My new 6hours

My new life starts from this September !

Yes. My youngest son goest to Kindergarten.  From this year, Kindergarten is a full time school, not the half day school!

My son went to the pre-school, but it was only 2hours and 3 times a week. 2 hours goes by really quick.  After dropping him off at pre-school and by the time I finish the grocery shopping, it is time to pick him up....

Anyways, from this September, I will have an empty house for,

6 hours/day, 5 times/week

that is 30hours/week.

What do I do now? 

I have been wishing for the free time for all these years, but one it is given,
I don't know what to do !!!

The first 4 years of my family life, I was either pregnant or nursing.  Children are now 9yrs, 7yrs and 5yrs. It has been 9 years and 9 month since my oldest was born.

Somebody was always at home, 

"Mommy, I'm hungry~!" 

"Mommy, I want to do painting, can you help me to set it up~?" etc etc etc.

Especially when I am on the phone,

"Mommy! Can you read this book now~?" "My nose is bleeding!"

When I am packing the old clothes for donation, my daughter would start unpacking,

"Mommy! This is my favourite shirt! Oh, I remember this shirt when I was just a baby,,,, maybe it will fit to my stuffy bear." 

When I practice piano,

"Mommy, can you play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, instead?"

When I want to do knitting,,,, forget it.

When we do some family gatherings, I could never finish one conversation from the beginning to the end.  Usually, join the conversation half way through and trying to figure out the subject.  By the time I caught up with the converstaion,

"Mommy, my hands are sticky with ketchup~!"

By the time I wash the ketchup-hands and back to the conversation (if there is a seat),

the last subject would be finished, and next subject would be already starting. 

When I look back, I have not been able to complete one thing without any distruction 

for 9 years.

Now I am facing to the fact that I get to chose how to use the 6 hours!! 
For myself, or for others.  This is so exciting!

I even asked moms friends from school,

"Can you pleeeeease not ask me to do volunteer for the first 2 month? I have been waiting for this time so long, and I just want to enjoy the 6 hours for now. I promise to

do volunteer once I had enough of my 6 hours!"

What a selfish request !

Anyways, as a gradual start, the first day of the kindergarten was only 2 hours. The second day will be 4 hours, and the third days will be 5 hours.

From the 4th day and on, it will be 6 hours!

my son, being proud to be in a big school.

changing into inner-shoes.

find his name and hook his back pack

sit in the center space and listen 

to the teacher carefully.

There is my son isn't listening nor looking 

at the teacher at all.

He is distracted by the sea animal pictures

on the wall....

"My want to do list"

More Reiki sessions during day time and have free evenings

Yoga into my life

Practice Piano and Harp more

Start knitting again

Offer Reiki as volunteer

Edit videos and photos

try new recipes for meals

and more Reiki. did I say that?

Seems like I can fill up the 6 hours pretty quick.

Life is beautiful

12 years today !

When I came to Canada for the first time, I came to Chilliwack straight from Nagasaki, Japan.


1999, August 27th, 12 years ago today.




People asked,
"Why Chilliwack?"




I had a choice of Victoria, Chilliwack, Cranbrook or Kimberly as a gymnastics instructor.




Before I decided which town I should go, I researched a little bit.  There was no "Google", so I pulled out a world map, and checked each city.


" Victoria, I have to take a ferry to go to Vancouver. Neh~."
" Kimberly, there are only 6000 population in the little town. Neh~. "
" Cranbrook, O-K-, but far away from Vancouver."
" Chilliwack, it is only 1cm away from Vanconver (on the map), it should be 30minutes train ride from Chilliwack to Vancouver! It should be good!"




So I decided to go to Chilliwack, without knowing that there are 
no rapid train, buses run only 1/hour and rarely on-time, 
takes 1.5 hours to go to Vancouver by highway bus and 
takes 1 hour to get to the highway bus station by city bus....




When I got here in 1999 Summer, I thought,
"Where are all the people?"
"Does anyone live here?"
"Does anyone drive cars on the highway?"




Coming straight from Japan to Chilliwack, I felt this town is so empty.  The population of the city of Chillwack was 65000 in about 900km². 
That means one person has 13m as her/his own space without touching eachother.


The population of Nagasaki city was 455000 in 406km². 
That means one person has 80cm as her/his own space without touching each other.


..... I am pretty sure I got this number right. (If anyone notice this is wrong, please let me know !!!)




Anyway,


I did not know anyone except the owners of the gymnastics club,
I did not know what is where,
I did not know how to ask which ways to go to where to buy what (if this makes sense..).




I thought 
"What did I just do... I am here in a different country, with a little English, and I know nobody.... and I made 1 year contract..."




Eventually, I was able to adjust my Japanese lifestyle into Chilliwack lifestyle. 




1 year plan turned into 12 years, and more to come !








I was filled with gratitude last night at the Party in the Park.




"Hi Mari, how's everything?"
"Hi Mari, how are you?"
"Hi Mari, your kids are getting big!"
"Hi Mari, oh you got a hair cut!"
"Hi Mari, where is your husband today?"
"Hi Mari, I haven't seen you a while! How are you doing!"






You don't know how much it means to me to have these simple conversations.
I feel like I live in a community where I feel welcomed!








Thank you, Chilliwack, for being just 1cm away from Vancouver on the map. If you were 
3 cm away, I would not chose to come to Chilliwack.
You gave me everything I dreamed of.
Husband, children, extended family, friends, house, car, water, etc, and all are wonderful.