Soul communication 3

Past two sessions were very special experience for both myself and Leanne.


We are getting so much out from each experience, and bringing
a peace for both of us.

When I visited her today, she looked a little tired, I wondered why.

It has been already 3~4 days since she started lying on the bed because of the
muscle spasm.  I can not even imagine how uncomfortable to just stay in
bed for day and night. Amazingly, Leanne always has smiles on her face.

The only thing I can do is Reiki. So I continue doing Reiki.

As usual, she fell asleep after 2~3 minutes, mouth open very deep sleep.
I love seeing her sleeping, because at least she is not feeling any discomfort
during this time.

She is in a deep sleep, I do not feel any sensation. I thought this session will
be a quiet, normal session.

As I settle down to a peaceful mind, I felt like someone was talking to me.


I didn't hear voices, but it felt like my brain was switched with someone's
brain and different ideas kept popping into my head, and it was out of my control.

I thought,
"What's happening?"

and I naturally asked in my head,
"Who are you?" 

But no answer. It feels like "He" or "It". This "He or It" keeps throwing some thoughts
to my head.




-If Leanne lives, her life will be compeletely opposite to the life she used to have. Is it OK? It's like a reborn.
-She can not compare with the old life and the new life, and can not say
"I used to be able to do this when I was well."
-She can not have any guilt because of her incapability to do many things.

-It is a given extra life, so, can she be grateful for everything what is in front of her.


etc, etc, it was like a contract of the Life. Then,

-If she die, she must not feel guilty about it.
-After the death, she has to go to the otherside. She can not hover in this world.If she hovers around this world, she can not be any help to her family.
-She must not think that this death happened because of her weakness. She must think that she fulfilled her task.
-Before she dies, she has to talk to her children about death.

etc, etc.  It is like a contact of the Death.

It simply felt like, it is totally upto Leanne to decide to live or die. Very strange.
It felt like, it or he is telling that she will have some extra life if she can live a life fufilled with small gratitude, if she dies, she has to be 100% content with it.

In addition, I felt like it/he was demanding me to tell Leanne about all this feeling.

I am not in a position to talk to people,
"You do this if you live, you do that if you die."
and I felt very nervous to talk to a person who is really going through
between life or death.

Some of the people who is reading this post, they might think that
I am becoming mentally retarded?
I don't mind at all.   The feeling was so real.

After the session has finished, Leanne woke up.


I asked,
"How was the session today?"

She said,
"I completely fell asleep. Nothing like yesterday. What about you?"

I was hesitant for a moment, and I think she caught my hesitation.

I get so nervous and my hands became icy cold and shaking.


I said,
"I'm not sure how to put it into the words. But I feel like I have to share with you."

Leanne said,
"Just feel free to talk to me anything."


I told her how I felt today, the contract of the Life, the contract of the Death. Also the feeling of the urge that someone is demanding me to tell her.

After I told her everything, Leanne said,
"Those feelings made all sence to me. I was thinking the same thing the other day."


I was a bit relieved that I did not violate her personal and sensitive issue that 
she is facing right this moment.

Really, I am learning so much about the life.


Why those important life teachings all have to involve,,,death.




My personal thought around the death..
Death might be the end for the physical life. 
As a human who has a body, it is sad thing to lose loved ones. I personally experienced,
and it is the most heart wrenching feeling.  
But as a soul that knows that the life continues, it is a graduation or even celebration. 
It really is not the end, it is the new beginning. Just like kids graduate an elementary school, and move into middle school.

Just my thought...

Soul communication 2

It was a very special Reiki session yesterday.
I visited her the same time in the morning.

She looks a bit brighter today, maybe,, just my imagination.

We talked about the yesterday's special session, and discuss about
the position for today's session.

Her ribs are little tender, so lying on her side sometime hurts,
and takes time to shift her position from the back to her side.
It looks really painful.
I whine about the occasional headache, I can not imagine how painful
 to have a constant bone pain...

Same as yesterday, we did some Reiki on her spine while she is on her side,
then rolled on to her back to be able to work on her ribs and a liver.

She fell asleep within 2~3 minutes.

Same as yesterday, the soul conversation started.

When I asked her in my mind,
"How do you feel today?"
Her face became bitter. Her eye brows squished together.
She is still sleeping.

It felt like she said,
"Mari, I think I can't take it anymore. I had enough pain, and I can not handle. It feels like it is easier to die than live with pain...."

I did not know what to think, so I just kept thinking,
"Thank you, Leanne. Thank you, Leanne."

in my mind.


She kept sleeping really deep, but once in a while she opened her eyes and looked around.  I was wondering why she was looking around.

Sometime she giggles, sometime her legs move just like she is running,
sometime her mouth moves just like she is talking without sounds.
I have no idea what is happening around her, obviously I am not a psychic.

After about 70minutes, I lifted my hands off, and she also opened her eyes.

I asked,
"You were dreaming, weren't you?"

Leanne said、

"It was wild. Did you change the music today? Does this music have people's voice? Were you talking all the time? Did anyone visited here?"


I said,
"The music was the same one as past two month, no voice in a music, I did not talk at all, and no one visited while we were doing Reiki." 

Leanne said,
"It is so strange. For the whole time, I heard voices chattering around my head. So I had 
to open my eyes to check who were visiting. I could not catch what they were talking
about, but I sometime catch my name in their conversation."

Oh, that's why she was looking around once in a while.

Leanne said,
"It felt like 'they' are deciding whether it is time for me to go or not."

It is such a strange feeling to talk about the choice of death or live with a person
who is really going through between the life and a death. But at the same time
the conversation went really natural even though the subject was such a deep issue.

... It was really natural, but strange feeling at the same time. 

Soul communication

Today, I have experienced a "soul communication" for the first time.


"Soul Communication???"   It might sound koo-koo? But, it is very magical.

I lost count of how many days we have done Reiki sessions for Leanne.

Probably it has been about 65times.

She has been repeating the pattern of feeling better and feeling weak, but

lately she has been very weak.

The body pain looks like increasing, the bone pain, the muscle spasm,

the hick-ups.  Especially the muscle spasm has been very bad lately,

and it set her back on the bed.

If you hear "the stage 4 cancer", it sounds really traumatic, but in Leanne's case,
she always puts a little smile on her face, and she is always graceful.
I almost forget that she has a stage 4 cancer.


It really makes me think about death.
Everyone dies no matter what. Some die by the car accident, some die just because
they are old, some die with cancer, some die with other illness.


I was thinking about dying with Alzheimer disease.
They forget who they are, they forget who their family are, they forget what
they are doing for a long time before die. 
Car accident happens with no preparation, and the life goes upside down
if family member lost their loved ones by the car accident.
But cancer patients stay as who they are all the way until the end.
They give some opportunity for them and their family to prepare to face
to the death. 
If I were to be dying, I would definitely like to say "Thank you" and "I always love you." and "Please don't be sad and be happy for me." as the last words to my family.


I have faced to the death of both of my parents and my best friend.
Death is sad, no matter what, but it can be beautiful transition.

Anyways,  past few Reiki session was very different and special.

Once I put my hands on her belly, she fell asleep in 2 minutes.

I spoke to her in my mind,
"Leanne, this is not it yet, isn't it? You still have some strength in your body, and
you can beat the cancer, can't you?"

That moment, Leanne nodded. 
She was sleeping, but she nodded few times.

I thought,
" ????  The nodding was the perfect timing after I talked to her in my mind. It must be
just a coincidence." 

But I kept talking to her in my mind,
"You want to live longer for your family, don't you?"

She nodded, with a gentle smile. 
But she is sleeping. 

This is the soul communication...

I continued,
"Leanne, I have never experienced being a cancer patient. But I heard that
all the cancer patients who beat the cancer say, their own body had to fight
off the cancer. They say it is important to talk to your own cancer cells."

Her eye brows lift up, just like she is saying,
"Is that right? How do I do that?" 

But she is sleeping !!!




It is a very strange experience. We are having a full conversation, but
there is no sound.

Sometime, her expression becomes bitter, sometime her mouth moves just like
she is talking, sometime she giggles.

In a while after, she woke up from the soul conversation.

I asked her,
"Were you dreaming?"


She said,
"It felt like dreaming, but I was talking to you for the whole time! I do not remember
what we talked, but I was talking to you for sure.  Did I really talk to you?"

Wow,,, we really had a conversation. 




Then she fell asleep again.
But few minutes later, she started to smile again (while she is sleeping), her cheek
started to become more pink, and her smile got bigger all of the sudden.
The next moment, her hand made a strong fist and lifted up, just like she grabbed
onto something.




Few minutes later, we finished the session, and she told me,
"I have something to tell you."




"When my hand made a fist and lifted, I was in a dream. But in a dream, you gave me
something in my hand, and I looked at my hand with excitement and said 'I won! I won!'"
It was such a realistic dream, that's why my body moved like that."




That moment, I thought she really might fight off the cancer.

But realistically, her body is getting really weak, so I might be the only one
who thinks Leanne might fight off this terminal cancer. But still, I keep thinking,
"You never know what will happen."

I continue this Reiki session...

How Reiki works for a cancer patient.

It's been over two month since we started the Reiki session.


The first two weeks were great. After the two week, she was hovering 
between "not getting worse" but "not getting better" for a month or so.




It's the pain that sets her behind.  




I myself haven't experienced what is the cancer, how it feels like, 
so I can not describe with my own experience.
But it seems like it is unbearable pain.




We both agreed that there is no guarantee that Reiki can cure the cancer. But we both
agreed that miracles can happen. If we want the miracle to happen, we have to
expect it to happen and do our best what we can do, and give the miracle to have a chance to happen.






If we do our best in what we can do, any outcome is the best result.




She told me today,
"I finally realized how Reiki works for the cancer patient. It brings a complete peace to myself and to my family."






If Reiki brings a peace for her, even only 80minutes of her day,
I want to continue....

Life lesson in 3 hours.

Some of you might know, I was in Japan over the New Years.

It was such a heart cleansing trip back to my home country.

washing my hands, and washing my heart.

During the trip, I had such an amazing experience in just 3 hours,

and I learned a life. 

It might become a bit long story, but please enjoy !!!

The reason I was able to go back to Japan in the New Years season (highest season),

is because I went back to Japan two times with my three children in a past 5 years.

 I had accumulated enough mileage points, so I only had to pay for the fuel surcharge. 

Otherwise, it is too expensive for me to go back there during the New Years time.

However, the mileage ticket is not very flexible. 

I wanted to complete this trip in 10days, since my husband would be left behind with

our three children.  But the shortest itinerary was for 16 days. 

And the only schedule that I could reserve was 

To Tokyo ; Dec 27,

Tokyo to nagasaki on Dec 28,

Nagasaki to Tokyo on Jan 6th,

Tokyo to Vancouver Jan 12th.

I thought the stay in Nagasaki is too long, so I kept the ticket on 6th,

but booked a separate ticket on January 4th with my down's syndrome sister, 

so then I can spend more time in Tokyo.

However, while I was in Nagasaki, my sister got sick, so she had to 

cancel her flight. 

On 4th morning, I went to the airport by myself.

The real story start here !

I arrived the airport and did the automatic check-in. But the machine spitted out

a ticket said,

"Check-in has been closed."

In my mind,

"What does it mean by that? Did I arrive here too early?"

A customer service found me when I was standing around and thinking.

She said,

"I am afraid, madam, but this flight has taken off 20minutes ago." 

"Wwww What?  The departure time is 10:35am, isn't it?" 

"Madam, I am afraid to say, but, the arrival time is 10:35am, and the departure time

is 9:05am."

Great. I missed the flight.

With the most silliest, dumbest reason,

by misunderstanding the arrival and departure time.

"Madam, would you like to be on a cancelation list?"「

.... Well, today is January 4th, one of the most busiest time in Japan. I don't think

there will be any cancelation, and look at this place packed full of people.

However, I put my name on the cancelation list, JUST IN CASE. 

Meanwhile, I prayed and begged to someone out there,

"Please, please get me on the earliest flight today!  Pleeeeeaaaaaase!"

But I missed one flight, and the second flight.... I thought it was impossible to be on the flight today,,,. 

Then I noticed my mind started to think differently, or numb.

I started to think,

"Please get me on the best flight for me. There should be a reason that

I missed the flight, so please show me the good reason."

I sat back and I opened my macbook to check a email box.

There was an email from my cousin who works at Japan Air Line ( the airline that I book the flight with mileage point), and she said

"Hi Mari, if you don't use the mileage ticket for the flight on January 6th, the flight

 between Tokyo-Vancouver will be automatically cancelled, so you should contact 

the customer service asap."

"Automatic Cancelation? I don't know that!"

（Probably, I did not read the "terms and agreements" as usual.）

So I became creative, and asked the customer service if the mileage ticket on 6th 

could be transferred to today's cancelation list. 

However.

"Madam, I am afraid but you can not change, nor cancel this ticket because this 

is booked with the mileage points. If you do not get on the reserved flight on 6th,

the flight between Tokyo and Vancouver will be cancelled.

I suggest you to use this flight, if you can. " 

I felt a chill on my back.

Goose bumps everywhere.

In my mind,

"Thank goodness, I missed the flight this morning!  Thank you for the guidance!"

If I got on the flight this morning (January 4th), I would not get on the 6th flight,

because I would be in the destination city already, and automatically

the flight between Tokyo and Vancouver would be cancelled.

Without knowing, I would go to the airport with the excitement of

going back to Vancouver and would find out that I lost the flight.

I would have to purchase the one way ticket between Tokyo and Vancouver,

that would cost me over $2000. 

Phewwwwwww ~~~ .

Cheap trip to my home country would turn out to be super expensive trip.

My face turned bright all of the sudden, and told the customer service,

"OK! Thank you for letting me know! I would use the 6th ticket. Could you

please cancel my cancelation list? "

Customer service lady was confused. 

"O, Oh, Are you sure?" 

With $4 as a cancelation fee, and the entire amount of the ticket on 4th was refund.

As I finished the entire process of refund and cancelation, I heard the announcement

said,

"Cancelation list number 105, please come to the counter."

... That's my number. But I don't need it. 

The story continues, still, so don't stop reading!

Meanwhile I was dealing with the refunding, I received a text message from

my older sister.

"Yuki isn't feeling so well, and the doctor decided to do some tests."

Yuki is my sister who has a down's syndrome. (Her flight was canceled because

she wasn't feeling well, that is why I was at the airport by myself.)

I said,

"Well, I missed the flight, so I am able to go back to Yuki's place."

When I arrived at Yuki's place, she was all nervous about the medical words like

"Gastroscopy" or "Local Anaesthesia" 

so I told her,

"I will be with you tomorrow at the test, so there is no need to worry."

She looked a bit relieved as she understood that I would be with her at the test.

The next day, I went back to her and stayed with her during the test

by rubbing her feet and doing Reiki. 

Everything went well, and they did not find anything wrong in her stomach,

so she went back to her home and had a lunch.

She kept saying to me,

"I am so glad you were able to be with me..."

"I really liked that you rubbed my feet all through the test, that felt good."

"Thank you for rubbing my feet..."

"I was a bit scared, but I was OK because you were there..."

I was so glad that I was able to be there with her. 

Thank goodness, I missed the flight.

She was so relieved after the lunch, and kept telling me,

"Mari-chan,,, so silly you,,,, missed the flight."

"What time is the flight tomorrow?"

"Did you check the time and make sure?"

"Be at the airport early, OK?"

She was trying to make sure that I would not miss the flight again.

Her mental age might be younger than me, but she is my big sister. She does not want 

to see a little sister making a silly mistake and being hurt. 

The 3 hours at the airport, and 2 days after I missed the flight, I learned 

the life lesson.

When I found out that I missed the flight, I thought,

"Big mistake! How dumb I am! I messed up the trip plan!"

But there was a big reason that I missed the flight.

First of all, people just don't miss the flight because of their misunderstanding of the arrival and departure time. But it happened to me, miraculously.

And it happened at the busiest time of the year, so then I was given some time

to think while waiting for the airplane.

Because I had a time to think, I checked my email. 

Because I had a time to check my email, I found out that I might be going to lose

my ticket to Vancouver.

I was able to find out that it was a perfect thing to miss the flight.

I was given an important role to support my ill sister during her stressful 2 days.

I couldn't have never imagined all the dots would be connected

at the time when I just found out that I missed the flight.

But when everything has done, I can see the dots are connected.

I think, if applies to the life, just in a bigger scale. 

There is always reasons when there is the moment I think

"I made a big mistake!", "This is the end!"

I don't have to know the reason right away.  Do my best, but not struggle, and 

just leave it up to the Universe. Then things will go however it supposed to go.

Relax, Relax.

If I panic and think,

"I got do to something! I should do this and that and everything!" 

and stress myself out to do unnecessary thing, things might not go how its

supposed to go.

Anyways, I think "the life lesson" was in that 3 hour in the airport.

For sure, my mom and dad from the other side were a bit panicky 

and they made the dots for their girl's "follow the dots" game.

That's all for today...